1. my closet is emptied of clothes worth their weight in memories // i set aside two bags full of jeans stained with half-dead hopes and loose-threaded loves // i have worn these windbreakers down to their bare bones.
2. it’s 9pm and i’m too tired to part with certain parts of myself // is it only the scarlet season when the sun is scorching away my sins? // it’s 9pm and now you’re bleeding out in all the ways that god never intended // beautifully, and unbearably faced with brevity.
3. recently, every second of my life is perforated with a great sense of loss // for what was, and what could have been // i do not have as many days left as i once thought // so let’s stay here a moment longer // i hope this spring stays away.
I tried a new type of poetry! Not really sure of the last stanza especially, but I had fun writing!
I took these photos with a Samsung S22 cam/Nikon DSLR, and I edited the pics with Snapseed. I just love sunsets so much — even without editing, their colours come out so vibrant! Looking at these pictures in my photo gallery, I realised how well the colours bled into each other (hence the name bleeding days); I wish I had a deeper meaning behind it, but I can’t think of anything right now 😀 Hope you liked them! – momo (=^･ｪ･^=))ﾉ彡☆
i must admit that the bus ride does not feel as short as when it is with you. and with that i mean to say, i love you so much that i want to to spend my life with you, even if your company makes it feel like a mere moment. i am scared of a short life and a long death, but against the backdrop of blurred trees and paint-chipped road lights, i am less scared. because a life with you – no matter how brief – is a life worth living.
in another universe, i am waking up to lavender birdsong. grand, gracious oak trees spread their branches from the cavities of the earth and i don’t have to worry about cavities on my teeth, or the inches of my waist. i can have as much honey as i want.
the sky is purple, but the kind of purple you see on lilacs in a field garnished gold by the early morning sun as you drive by a wheat farm on the way to mars.
in another universe, the grapes are always sweet. we will be sitting side by side looking down at the world from a mountain of mundane moments, but more human all the more because of them.
For me, Ponyo is a comfort movie. It gets mixed reviews on its content and movie progression, ranging from appreciation to mild irritation at the storyline. I feel like a lot of people forget that as a children’s movie, Ponyo does not need the most believable plot (or a more subtle colour palette). The beauty and appeal of Ponyo is that it takes a deep dive into how a child’s mind perceives their life. The world is bright and mysterious, full of new discoveries every day. The quote written on the official movie poster is literally welcome to a world where anything is possible.
Ponyo – the movie’s namesake – is first introduced as a charming aquatic creature with a fierce desire to explore the world beyond her home. Her wishes are so strong that they grow, and grow, until they manifest into human limbs and a human head. Leaving behind her undersea life, siblings, and apprehensive father, she starts a journey of exploration… leading her right into the life of Sosuke.
Sosuke is a human child, with a picturisque life in an seaside village of Japan; he sees the world through eyes filled with wonder. He cares for every single person in his life, with Ponyo being no exception. When Sosuke’s mom is frustrated with his dad, he convinces her to signal a message to him together. When Sosuke is asked whether he will love Ponyo the same as a fish or a human, his honest answer is an immediate yes. Through every step of the way in his adventure with Ponyo, Sosuke represents the pure adoration that you feel for others as a child, towards your friends and family alike.
Together, Ponyo and Sosuke represent two aspects of childhood in the movie: larger-than-life, hopeful dreams and pure, perpetual love. This is a movie that transports viewers back into those experiences. It was entirely and wholly intended to be as bright, as dreamlike, as romantic, and as carefree as it was.
So, maybe we all need some more Ponyo in our lives. A little more of fierce desires unclouded by doubts, and a little more of unadulterated love for those around us. We should embody this part of our childhood throughout our existence, because its too short to not give it your all.
Let us tuck away, into a corner of our mind, a small voice that echoes to ourselves: welcome to a world where anything is possible.
You are my iron-clad, stone-hilted storm. The dying breath of stars compells us towards twinkling thoughts.
Breathing in. Breathing out.
Let us rest our heads in the ravines of Venus’ veil, pillowed by noxious nothings. Our formless fears dance on the silouhettes of deep space. We can stare down into the chasm, wondering about the battlefield left behind in the hands of fading sons and suns.
Or.
On a littered wasteland of heart and bone, moments and meadows, there will be a vine-laden cottage surrounded by a white picket fence. Stars bloom outside the door. Galaxies grow in the garden.
A quaint, cobblestone path shows us the way home.
Us, on a planet amidst the masses — larger than infinity, but smaller than eternity — entwined in the veins of the Earth.
Sophie and Markl (ss from Howl’s Moving Castle)Sophie and Calcifer (ss from Howl’s Moving Castle)
Howl’s Moving Castle is one of many high-quality Studio Ghibli movies; I believe they transcend all linguistic and cultural boundaries and just universally capture the beauty of human creativity. I have a soft spot for them, and they all have a peacefullness and charm which I seldom see in other films.
( ◡‿◡ )♡ Dear readers, be forewarned: spoilers ahead!!!
While I was watching the movie, I couldn’t help but form a ‘directional statement’ in my mind; HMC shows how love can be a medium for self-discovery, and shows this through multiple relationship developments as the story progresses. With Sophie as our ever-tenacious, strong female-lead, her relationships with Markl, Turnip-Head, Calcifer, and—last but not least—Howl.
Admittedly, not all of my points are very deep or solid, but this is more of a thought dump of everything I noticed (´◡`) I think it might be because as a children’s or family movie, some points have to be a bit obvious to drive home the message.
Markl
Throughout the movie, Markl puts on a disguise when he deals with strangers and customers. His first interaction with Sophie is also quite prickly, as he is annoyed she found her way into the castle. But he slowly warms up to Sophie as they start to take care of the castle together. We don’t know much of Markl’s background, so we don’t really know why he came to be an apprentice under Howl, just that he’s currently trying to improve his magic. During the climax of the movie, he hugs Sophie tightly, saying “I love you Sophie, Please don’t go!” While he says this, his disguise disappears. I interpreted this as because he is comfortable around Sophie enough to show his true self and feelings. Of course, he is usually in his true form around Sophie anyways, but I think this is symbolic regardless (´◡`)
Turnip-Head
Our gentlemanly turnip-headed-scarecrow doesn’t have a huge amount of interactions with Sophie, but they’re all distinct in strengthening their relationship. He finds his true self quite literally, after he turns back into his human, princely form at the end of the movie. We’re first introduced to him as Sophie pulls him upright from bushes on her way to find Howl. He can’t talk, and his ever present grin is just the smallest amount of unsettling, but we quickly become endeared to him as he brings Sophie a cane for her travels. Through the movie, he continues to help Sophie, and becomes part of the HMC family. You could say that on a very basic level, his love for Sophie helped him find himself again (after her ‘true love’s kiss, he transforms). I like to imagine that past that surface level analysis, our turnip-headed prince found himself through his actions to help the group throughout the film.
(Also, can we take a moment to appreciate how he understands and accepts Sophie’s affections lie elsewhere? And leaves back for his kingdom gracefully? More people should learn from him (´◡`) )
Calcifer
With Calcifer and Sophie, I honestly don’t have many points leading back to my directional statement, but their relationship is so funny and wholesome that I just had to include them. Although we are given hints throughout the movie, we find out Calcifer is actually Howl’s heart near the end. But we still see the growing attachement he has towards Sophie—she’s the only other person other than Howl that he listens to. This can be chalked up to him literally just being a part of Howl, but its sweet regardless when Sophie kisses him and he returns back to his true form as a fallen star. So… another very physical show of self discovery (´◡`)
Howl
Howl’s changes are also physical, in addition to Sophie’s interactions with Calcifer when you consider him a part of Howl. As Howl and Sophie get to know and care for eachother, his ‘mysterious’, ‘otherworldly’ mask fades away into something much more human. When Sophie cleans and organizes the castle bathroom, Howl accidentally uses the wrong hair product; this eventually turns his hair black. When I watched the movie, I assumed that this could be a nod back to Howl’s natural hair colour—a sign that he was finally revealing his true self.
What I found harder to explain to myself was Howl’s transformation into his monstrous, bird-like form. Whenever he transforms, he loses a bit more of his humanity, and it become harder for him to turn back. Is this something that Howl accepts as part of himself to help in the war? Does it reflect the negative results he internalizes when offering his generosity to the world? His true self—his kindness and will to protect the places and people that he loves—manifests as an eerily beautiful transfiguration.
Maybe it brings out a strong message that everything about our true selves isn’t always good…and that’s okay (´◡`)
Bonus: Sophie
I think Sophie is one of the strongest, most self-assured female leads I have ever seen in a movie or a book. I love how she takes everything in stride and is very logical about the curse set on her. Although it isn’t explicit, I think Sophie and her love for others + herself transforms her back to her original appearance by the end of the movie. Her love for Howl is the major reason the movie points to, but I like to think that her personal journey through this movie also played a part in it.
And that concludes my thought dump about HMC.
If you read until the end... thanks! (´◡`)
“March came in that winter like the meekest and mildest of lambs, bringing days that were crisp and golden and tingling…”
— Lucy Maude Montgomery
You run along
the hardened ground
as the snow whispers underneath your feet.
one step, two steps –
You leave imprints and they are impressed
by your impertinence as your jocund giggles stick to the ground.I thought the wind – could only be harsh.
the sun, only scorching.but now our breaths crystalize in the air.
this golden hour, we are gold,
as the sun sets us afire and the mist is aglow
faces flushed red as
the wind caresses and nips at our faces
like the ginger cat down the lane.We run
You seven steps ahead
Me tracing your footpaths
in the freshly crushed snow
In this endless expanse
of the ecstatic first blush of the blue skiesthe school stands still in the early morning light.
the trees are tall and topped in snow
pine needles shaking slightly in the breeze.the white boards glitter as the sun rises
and I smile at you
My most bosom friend,
You who came to me
like the last snow.
Like the Last Snow is a poem based on Anne of Green Gables, aiming to capture the joy of the last snowfall of the winter season. It is told from Diana Berry’s point of view, Anne’s best friend.
Death as solely a concept is not a luxury that humans can afford.
If life is a simple trick of biology, a specific sequence of atoms and molecules, does that mean that life has no meaning? That we, in fact, have physical restraints, and are forced to come to terms with the certainty that we are not bigger than ourselves; do not have much time in the world; are an infinitesimally small speck in the grandest timeline of existence?
Or, does it mean that the living body—despite all barriers and boundaries—prevailed against the universe to give itself meaning?
I postulate this: there is not a single life without meaning; and conversely, there is no meaning without the essence of being. But be-ing is not merely the biological definition of a working mind.
There are black holes that dance around each other for eons, finally collapse into each other’s arms. They create waves in the space-time continuum, washing lengths of pure energy over the universe. Hauntingly beautiful, and yes, woefully abstruse. There is beauty still—in the absence of life anywhere in the cosmos, in the organizations of electrons and quarks.
Persistence is written into the very fabric of the universe. The meaning of life resides in these nooks and crannies, in the evening thoughts of the poet, the messy proofs of the mathematician, the chlorophyll creating the colour of grass, the stars blazing in the sky. What I mean to say is: persistence is being. Persistence is meaningful. Persistence is beautiful.
Momo's Musings 